I recently read a really touching article called Mother daughter dreaming on Tzivia Gover’s blog, Waking up to your dreams.
Tzivia describes how she discovered her mother had been a prolific dreamer, but it was too late to explore their shared interest because, by then, her mother had slipped into ‘her dream of dementia’ and lost the ability to communicate in speech.
It made me wonder whether my mother dreamed – or rather, remembered her dreams. I would think not. But what about my father? My sisters and brother? My grandparents?
It struck me how rarely most of us talk about our dream lives, even with those closest to us. I’m glad I’ve always had that conversation with my children, and these days, also, with my friends.
It’s fun, intriguing and sometimes reassuring to talk about the places we go and the experiences we have in our dreams. For me, it’s like talking about great movies we’ve seen, or wonderful novels, or little pieces of poetry we’ve chanced upon and felt inspired.
I think one of the reasons why it isn’t part of our culture to talk about our dreams is because psychology has hijacked dreaming and shaped our view of it into some kind of secret code that makes us vulnerable to being exposed.
For me, my dreaming is a rainbow of emotions, themes, images, characters and stories that show, not my deep unconscious analysable life, but the moving colours of my psyche.
Next time you remember a dream, try sharing it. If you still have your mother in your life, perhaps you could share it with her or, if she has already left, you might invite her to visit you in dreams, as Tzivia has done.
Do you talk to friends and family about your dreams? If not, what would hold you back? If so, how does it make you feel?
11 thoughts on “Does your mother dream?”
My daughter and I are always sharing our dreams with each other. I must admit I’m “guilty” of dream interpreting but then both of us love that. My husband sometimes shares his dreams with me but isn’t too interested in me sharing with him! But that’s cos he’s aspie and so doesn’t think I have anything much going on in my world 🙂
Not guilty, Diane! It’s an aspect – especially when then obvious relationship between day life and the dream. I find that’s part of the pleasure, when the dream produces story versions of what’s going on, and highlights aspects we might have not noticed consciously. I guess what I mean it, I prefer not to try and nail it down, but just enjoy and keep any observations light.
Agree. And probably why I put “guilty” in inverted commas because I’m not really and do like to explore it all. 🙂
Great post again.
Oh and I’m enjoying your books that I got for free after signing up for Writing Magazine 🙂
Great comment again, Diane 🙂 Thank you for telling me you’re enjoying my books – I’ve got a monthly column in the magazine too, going forward, so I hope you’ll like that too!
I’m fortunate. I’ve managed to maintain a dream dialogue with my mother. She tends to relate the strange and fantastical ones mostly but I guess we all find those the most interesting! We decipher too I’m afraid but I often enjoy the feel of a dream .. that’s just as important to me. The ‘music’ of it almost, the melody that stay in the air thereafter.
You are fortunate, Melanie – it’s such a lovely thing to share. And they do stay around you, sometimes – I haven’t thought of it like music but something in the air, certainly.
Don’t know if my mother dreamed, but I’ve always paid attention to my dreams. One dream I had has led me on a journey that resulted in my resigning from my job, retraining and living a different life. It wasn’t really ‘analysable’, but it spoke to the child-spirit in me, and urged me to look at my playful, creative side. Excited to find this blog!
Hi Lynne – I love it when a dream does that! The way you describe the experience, as not analysable but speaking to you – that’s how I feel about my dreams. I think it would be rude to speak over them, or tell them what they’re saying. I listen, and often they have really useful insights for me.
I think sharing dreams is often quite an enlightening process. My friends and I often talk about them, used to make a tradition of it in the woods.
I love the idea of sharing dreams in the woods! Some of my best dreaming has been when I’m sleeping under canvas.
I think it’s a great place for conversation.